Something to Give A Fuck About

It's all real now. I'm the COO of a company. I have cards and everything. Inspired by joblessness and the general pissedoffness caused by it, my hubby and I realized that we are the only ones who can control our destiny. So we built our own shit. I'm actually excited and I haven't been excited by anything in ages.

It's officially on.

21 Fucking Questions

 I saw these questions in NY Mag and liked them so I decided to answer them. Fuck it. 

Name: Max
Age: 36
Neighborhood: 
Occupation: None currently

Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional? 
Claire Huxtable

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in New York? 
Steak & Eggs at Primehouse NYC. I still dream of that meal. It was that good.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job? 
See occupation

What was your first job in New York? 
Cashier at KFC in midtown. The hardest work I’ve ever done for the least money.

What’s the last thing you saw on Broadway? 
Fela. It was beyond wonderful.

Do you give money to panhandlers? 
I used to but I don’t now.

What’s your drink? 
Cosmo. Grey Goose of course. I know. I’m such a cliche. 

How often do you prepare your own meals? 
Pretty often. I rather enjoy making simple but tasty food.

What’s your favorite medication? 
Booze. Heals what ails me. 

What’s hanging above your sofa? 
Knickknacks from Greece.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut? 
$200.

When’s bedtime? 
Midnight. If I’m working. Whenever I feel tired when I’m not.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square? 
Old Times Square FTW! I liked the edge it had. Like much of NY it’s just one big Tourist frappe now. Ugh.

What do you think of Donald Trump? 
I don’t think of him at all.

What do you hate most about living in New York? 
The hustle and bustle and general douchery of some folks here. This city can wear you out.

Who is your mortal enemy? 
The mind numbingly stupid

When’s the last time you drove a car? 
Last year when I was taking lessons. 

How has the Wall Street crash affected you? 
See occupation.

Times, Post, or Daily News? 
Times

Where do you go to be alone? 
This awesome park in Lower Manhattan

What makes someone a New Yorker? 
Attitude, pride, and perseverance.

Fuck Law School

For now anyway. Another year, another failure. I'm going to regroup and find work and start over. Because I know I would be a phenomenal attorney if I could just get into a school.  Anyway that's where I'm at right now. And not for nothing, I've spent 3 years of money and time on this project and I'm sort of burnt out on it.

In the interim I will go back to the devil I know: corporate communications. Which invariably means mental midgets. Blech! The idea of it makes my ass itch but a bitch has bills to pay so that's how it goes.

And that's all I have to say about that.

3 Down, 2 to Go

I've gotten the gasface again. This time I'm like whatever. The school was too far away to actually be feasible so A Fuck I Do Not Give.

Still sucks though.

Fuck it all.

Who Gives A Fuck About Winning?

When losing is so much easier to do. I'm almost exhausted by the idea of an actual win since I've become so accustomed to losing. Why all the loser talk? Only because I've chalked up another one for the lose column. School number 2 of 5 has passed and I'm sorta over it. Not getting what I want is starting to feel normal. If I actually did win something I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I wish I'd planned my life a bit better. Maybe I wouldn't be so damned bitter. In the end, I can only blame myself.

Fuck it all.

Fuck Six Month Anniversaries

Today marks 6 months of unemployment for me. Fuck it. I'm sick of talking about it. No response from the schools yet either. I'm getting tired of that too. The only thing I'm happy with right now is my hair. Sad right? Oh well.

Fuck it all.

Fuck Rejection

I've gotten the first of what might likely be 4 more law school rejection letters. I am trying to be nonchalant about it but it stings. I guess I'm going to take some shitty job for money to live on and be miserable. Or I'm going to take that stupid test again and re-apply. I can't lie though. I'm starting to get tired of this shit. I don't know what else I have to do. So many stupid chickenheads are lawyers and I can't even get down at a  fucking school. I really hate this shit. I really do.

Fuck. It. All.

Fuck The IRS

So I just got a call from my accountant. He tells me that because I took a disbursement on my 401k last year after I got laid off I got pushed in to a higher tax bracket so I'm in hock to the IRS for $5,000 bones. I also get poked in the ass by the state to the tune of $1,000 balls. I am so, so, so full of hate right now. Do I have like 6K to just pull out of my ass right now? No. Is the timing super awesome? No. Do I want to scream and throw things? Yes, very much so.

I'm starting to feel like this is the top of the roller coaster and I'm in for a big ass dip. There are cats who make fofillions of dollars and never get it in the ass tax wise because they know how to hide the cheese. Cats who are straight ballin cry like little bitches at the whiff of new taxes. My response to them is usually that they should go fuck themselves. I know I didn't make a million fucking bucks last year but some how I'm gettin stuck with no fucking lube.

I need a win and I need it soon. In the interim, I need a job. And fast.

Fuck. It. All.

Fuck Dick Cheney

So Satan's houseboy had to go to the hospital this week because the black hole he has that masquerades as a heart started malfunctioning again.  When I heard about it I actually chuckled and I didn't feel any kind of way about it either. A being (because he can't be considered human) like that doesn't deserve regular human niceties like sympathy or concern because he doesn't deserve them.

This piece of garbage is the same fucko who was like "so what" when asked about the fact that he helped start a war that has taken thousands of human lives for no fucking reason at all. The same motherfucker who was so secure in his place as the right hand man of Satan that he didn't deem it neccessary to report to anyone or even let cats know where he was during his stint as President because you know G-Dummy wasn't the President at all. The cat shot an old man in the face and got old dude to APOLOGIZE TO HIM! Money didn't have shit to say for 8 motherfucking years and now you can't get this fucker to shut the fuck up.

He's on TV every fucking week biggin himself up for cosigning torture and throwing shit on President Obama's well........everything. He's strong and wrong on everything you can possibly imagine. He even denied his own child's humanity and legal rights in order to win reelection in 2004 with the "Fuck Them Gays" Platform he cosigned wholeheartedly (excuse the pun, we all know this bitch ain't got no heart). So if money finally died and went to join his maker in hell I would rejoice and a fuck I would not give because he isn't even worthy to be mourned.

Fuck him and the demon seed he skeeted out of.

Fuck it all.

Fucking Shady Bitches

So somehow I've become persona non grata with my undergrad Sorority Sisters. Maybe it's because I kept it real in regard to my feelings on everyone's intense devotion to Jesus all of a sudden.  Anyhoo, since then I've been left off of many invites to chapter reunion type things. Which is fine because not for nothing we never had much in common outside of the organization. But the fronting that goes on behind those invitations somehow disappearing is starting to tear my fucking nerves.

Look, I could give a fucking shit about how much you and Jesus get along and how much you like to hop around for Jesus. I really don't. I prefer to keep my relations with Jesus quiet and because I don't worship your way and because I chafe under your constant scripture quoting and sanctimonious judgement doesn't some how make me less than you. Judge not and all that, remember?

If you're cutting me loose because I don't pop my cooter in a holy enough way, please go ahead because I have plenty of other folks in my life who love my unvarnished and unphony self.

Also too, fuck off you sanctimonious pricks.

Fuck it all.

Fucking Snow

I dragged my sick self out into the cold to fucking shovel snow only to see the fucking thing be completely covered in snow in a few hours. I'm disgusted. Truly.

Fucking Teenagers

I wish you could quarantine them til they were 30 or til they learned how to act. I've been suffering the little shits all day & now I'm stuck on a crowded bus with them.

I'm hoping against hope that I wasn't a fucking little douche bag when I was a teen. I'm gonna go with possibly but I'm pretty sure I wasn't a little fuckwit like these little turds running around these days. They are the true definition of the term youth is wasted on the young. For them, the world is a big, fat pussy waiting to be fucked (tm Tony Montana) and what do they do? Mostly nothing. *smh*

Other than crowd malls & sext each other of course. I know I sound like I'm on my curmudgeon game right now but you must remember: A Fuck I Do Not Give.

Eff that the children are the future shit. Cause if these cats are it, put my ass on a rocket & send my ass to the moon because hell no.

Fuck it all.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Fuck Effort

My default setting seems to be fuck effort. I can't get myself psyched to look for work and I can't get myself to re-apply to BK Law because they've shat on me once and don't think I'm ready for that jelly again. I can't get out of bed and I can't get dressed. I'm falling into a abyss and I have no idea how to stop it.

I am tired. Truly tired. I need some good news real soon.

Fuck it all.

Bish Plz

I was reading this the other day on Jezebel about Super Bowl commercials the were all about how chicks are snatching dude's balls off and I got good and salty at the second to last commercial with the dude wandering around the department store with his girl. Basically the announcer dude was all yeah you're pussified for running around this store with this emasculating bitch and if you bought this gadget you could be less of a vagine and watch the game.

First of all, fuck that bullshit. Not every woman is a emasculating bitch and I know for fact that I'm not and further more I like gadgets. I like them a lot and I have issues with cats assuming that because I'm a chick the only way I could possibly like a gadget would be to paint it pink and "girl it up". How about fuck that and fuck you FloTv, right in your fucking ear!

Fuck it all!

Shit I Give A Fuck About

I don't give a fuck about a lot of things but one thing I do give a fuck about is sweet tea vodka. My bullshit ass hood liquor store finally joined the rest of of the fucking world & put this elixor of the Gods into rotation & I'm happier than a pig in shit. I'm in a happier world when sweet tea vodka is part of it.

Drunken blogging about the virtues of sweet tea vodka is not the sign of a warped mind, but rather a sign of one of the few things that make me happy. Like snow days. Bring on the blizzard bitches because I'm good to fucking go. I've got sweet tea vodka & doritos so let's gooooooo! 

Fuck. It. All.

The World Is Wrong

I can't help but feel like there are people in this world who are genuinely awful and never seem to pay what they owe in terms of karma. Like for example the slut ass, hoe ass, cum guzzling sack of shit who was instrumental in my "position elimination". This stank ass bitch isn't smarter or better looking than me but somehow has become this "power player" in my old company at the wizened age of 25. It also helps that she eats the President & COO's dick on a regular basis. She's sitting on top of the fucking world (and a dick probably) right now not because she's good at what she does (unless you count drinking babies) but because she manipulated her way there.

What I want to know is when is it all going to come tumbling down for a bitch like that? I mean, I fucking did what you should do professionally for the most part. Sure I opted out towards the end but was I unprofessional? No. Did I do what was asked of me no matter how fucking mind numbingly stupid? Fuck yes. But this bitch waltzes in, blows a bunch of smoke up some folks asses and gets rewarded? Fuck that!  The shit isn't fair and the world is wrong.

Because if the world was right, a bitch like that would be serving me pancakes at IHOP. It just seems like shit like that keeps going unchecked. I mean you want to tell yourself that the world always rights itself and  "they'll get what's coming to them" but really deep down you know that shit isn't true. They'll keep getting rewarded for their fuckery and good folks who handle biz just won't. The smart will always be at the mercy of the stupid and that shit is fucking depressing.

I understand why folks wild out when the weight of that reality becomes too much. Me? I'm going to accept it and move on and get my own shit so that I never have to be at the mercy of the mental midget ever a fucking gain.

Fuck it All.

Fuck Everything

I find that I am in a place right now where going through the functions of life is simply wearing on me and I've lost all ability to give a shit about anything. Hence A Fuck I Do Not Give was born. I'm quite bitter about so many things despite knowing that externally my life is pretty good. I mean it can always be worse.    But I don't feel like being positive and I need a place to dump my bitter so it doesn't fester and give me cancer or some shit. Because that would make things all the more awesome for me.

If you aren't all about hearing me bitch about everything, then get a fucking move on because this shit ain't for you. It's for me so go immediately to hell because....

A Fuck I Do Not Give.

Fuck it all.