Who Gives A Fuck About Winning?

When losing is so much easier to do. I'm almost exhausted by the idea of an actual win since I've become so accustomed to losing. Why all the loser talk? Only because I've chalked up another one for the lose column. School number 2 of 5 has passed and I'm sorta over it. Not getting what I want is starting to feel normal. If I actually did win something I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I wish I'd planned my life a bit better. Maybe I wouldn't be so damned bitter. In the end, I can only blame myself.

Fuck it all.

Fuck The IRS

So I just got a call from my accountant. He tells me that because I took a disbursement on my 401k last year after I got laid off I got pushed in to a higher tax bracket so I'm in hock to the IRS for $5,000 bones. I also get poked in the ass by the state to the tune of $1,000 balls. I am so, so, so full of hate right now. Do I have like 6K to just pull out of my ass right now? No. Is the timing super awesome? No. Do I want to scream and throw things? Yes, very much so.

I'm starting to feel like this is the top of the roller coaster and I'm in for a big ass dip. There are cats who make fofillions of dollars and never get it in the ass tax wise because they know how to hide the cheese. Cats who are straight ballin cry like little bitches at the whiff of new taxes. My response to them is usually that they should go fuck themselves. I know I didn't make a million fucking bucks last year but some how I'm gettin stuck with no fucking lube.

I need a win and I need it soon. In the interim, I need a job. And fast.

Fuck. It. All.

The World Is Wrong

I can't help but feel like there are people in this world who are genuinely awful and never seem to pay what they owe in terms of karma. Like for example the slut ass, hoe ass, cum guzzling sack of shit who was instrumental in my "position elimination". This stank ass bitch isn't smarter or better looking than me but somehow has become this "power player" in my old company at the wizened age of 25. It also helps that she eats the President & COO's dick on a regular basis. She's sitting on top of the fucking world (and a dick probably) right now not because she's good at what she does (unless you count drinking babies) but because she manipulated her way there.

What I want to know is when is it all going to come tumbling down for a bitch like that? I mean, I fucking did what you should do professionally for the most part. Sure I opted out towards the end but was I unprofessional? No. Did I do what was asked of me no matter how fucking mind numbingly stupid? Fuck yes. But this bitch waltzes in, blows a bunch of smoke up some folks asses and gets rewarded? Fuck that!  The shit isn't fair and the world is wrong.

Because if the world was right, a bitch like that would be serving me pancakes at IHOP. It just seems like shit like that keeps going unchecked. I mean you want to tell yourself that the world always rights itself and  "they'll get what's coming to them" but really deep down you know that shit isn't true. They'll keep getting rewarded for their fuckery and good folks who handle biz just won't. The smart will always be at the mercy of the stupid and that shit is fucking depressing.

I understand why folks wild out when the weight of that reality becomes too much. Me? I'm going to accept it and move on and get my own shit so that I never have to be at the mercy of the mental midget ever a fucking gain.

Fuck it All.