21 Fucking Questions

 I saw these questions in NY Mag and liked them so I decided to answer them. Fuck it. 

Name: Max
Age: 36
Neighborhood: 
Occupation: None currently

Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional? 
Claire Huxtable

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in New York? 
Steak & Eggs at Primehouse NYC. I still dream of that meal. It was that good.

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job? 
See occupation

What was your first job in New York? 
Cashier at KFC in midtown. The hardest work I’ve ever done for the least money.

What’s the last thing you saw on Broadway? 
Fela. It was beyond wonderful.

Do you give money to panhandlers? 
I used to but I don’t now.

What’s your drink? 
Cosmo. Grey Goose of course. I know. I’m such a cliche. 

How often do you prepare your own meals? 
Pretty often. I rather enjoy making simple but tasty food.

What’s your favorite medication? 
Booze. Heals what ails me. 

What’s hanging above your sofa? 
Knickknacks from Greece.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut? 
$200.

When’s bedtime? 
Midnight. If I’m working. Whenever I feel tired when I’m not.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square? 
Old Times Square FTW! I liked the edge it had. Like much of NY it’s just one big Tourist frappe now. Ugh.

What do you think of Donald Trump? 
I don’t think of him at all.

What do you hate most about living in New York? 
The hustle and bustle and general douchery of some folks here. This city can wear you out.

Who is your mortal enemy? 
The mind numbingly stupid

When’s the last time you drove a car? 
Last year when I was taking lessons. 

How has the Wall Street crash affected you? 
See occupation.

Times, Post, or Daily News? 
Times

Where do you go to be alone? 
This awesome park in Lower Manhattan

What makes someone a New Yorker? 
Attitude, pride, and perseverance.

Fuck Law School

For now anyway. Another year, another failure. I'm going to regroup and find work and start over. Because I know I would be a phenomenal attorney if I could just get into a school.  Anyway that's where I'm at right now. And not for nothing, I've spent 3 years of money and time on this project and I'm sort of burnt out on it.

In the interim I will go back to the devil I know: corporate communications. Which invariably means mental midgets. Blech! The idea of it makes my ass itch but a bitch has bills to pay so that's how it goes.

And that's all I have to say about that.

3 Down, 2 to Go

I've gotten the gasface again. This time I'm like whatever. The school was too far away to actually be feasible so A Fuck I Do Not Give.

Still sucks though.

Fuck it all.

Who Gives A Fuck About Winning?

When losing is so much easier to do. I'm almost exhausted by the idea of an actual win since I've become so accustomed to losing. Why all the loser talk? Only because I've chalked up another one for the lose column. School number 2 of 5 has passed and I'm sorta over it. Not getting what I want is starting to feel normal. If I actually did win something I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I wish I'd planned my life a bit better. Maybe I wouldn't be so damned bitter. In the end, I can only blame myself.

Fuck it all.

Fuck Six Month Anniversaries

Today marks 6 months of unemployment for me. Fuck it. I'm sick of talking about it. No response from the schools yet either. I'm getting tired of that too. The only thing I'm happy with right now is my hair. Sad right? Oh well.

Fuck it all.

Fuck Rejection

I've gotten the first of what might likely be 4 more law school rejection letters. I am trying to be nonchalant about it but it stings. I guess I'm going to take some shitty job for money to live on and be miserable. Or I'm going to take that stupid test again and re-apply. I can't lie though. I'm starting to get tired of this shit. I don't know what else I have to do. So many stupid chickenheads are lawyers and I can't even get down at a  fucking school. I really hate this shit. I really do.

Fuck. It. All.

Fuck The IRS

So I just got a call from my accountant. He tells me that because I took a disbursement on my 401k last year after I got laid off I got pushed in to a higher tax bracket so I'm in hock to the IRS for $5,000 bones. I also get poked in the ass by the state to the tune of $1,000 balls. I am so, so, so full of hate right now. Do I have like 6K to just pull out of my ass right now? No. Is the timing super awesome? No. Do I want to scream and throw things? Yes, very much so.

I'm starting to feel like this is the top of the roller coaster and I'm in for a big ass dip. There are cats who make fofillions of dollars and never get it in the ass tax wise because they know how to hide the cheese. Cats who are straight ballin cry like little bitches at the whiff of new taxes. My response to them is usually that they should go fuck themselves. I know I didn't make a million fucking bucks last year but some how I'm gettin stuck with no fucking lube.

I need a win and I need it soon. In the interim, I need a job. And fast.

Fuck. It. All.